Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts... and we are never, ever the same ~ Ejay | iRReVeRSiBLe ~

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Day 1

07 December 2009 at 11:52 PM | Written by Ejay

Whoopee...!

After a long break (aku cuti seminggu... in between job), the season came to an end as I started to get into the "system" again.

Yes, ladies & gentlemen... today is my first day kat tempat kerja baru.

I guess what the season ender is all about is CHANGE. New things to do, new people to do it with, new location and of course new outfit!! ~huhu

I shopped for my work clothes yesterday with k.A (my blog reader & now a friend)... and I specifically looked for a green color shirt. Why? Because Najmie told me that everyone has its own color element... and to have good energy around me, I have to wear chocolate, yellow & beige. But to look more stand out, I should wear green. I don't know where she get all these info, but somehow I thanked her for guiding me. As far as I could remember, aku tak pernah ada baju kerja warna hijau... this is first and I kinda love it!

So today I wear G2000's green long sleeve... and start my day with all positive vibes. I think like a successful person, I act like a successful person and I believe I am successful person. You got to believe that you are successful... then you will succeed. Betul tak Najmie?


Now I need to focus. That's what being in the "system" is all about. I'm in the point of my life where I'm having a clearer view of my future and I'm at peace with my past. I just need to be 100% in control of my present.

So guys... wish me luck!


Notes:

- Staff lelaki ramai yg tanya... "sblm ni kerja kat mana?".
- Staff perempuan pulak ramai yg tanya... "bujang lagi ke?" ~gulp!
- Ada sorg makcik ni pun tanya... "dah kahwin ke blom?" ~erk!
..."makcik tanya utk anak makcik... hihi". ~pulak dah...



Love & Regards,
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reunited

30 November 2009 at 6:40 PM | Written by Ejay

KEMBARA BERNAMA - TOURISM MALAYSIA 2009
KL to JB
21 - 22 November 2009


Last weekend aku dan rakan2 join treasure hunt dr KL ke JB. Actually, dulu kami kerja satu company, pastu sorg demi sorg blah dr company ni dan aku pun ikut jejak langkah diorg gak baru2 ni. Hehe. Tp sungguhpun kami dah tak kerja satu company, our friendship still remain. Memang masing2 sibuk dgn kerja dan takde masa nak berjumpa selalu, but once in a year, kami akan buat outdoor activity… and get together again. This is the secret to remain our friendship…


Kami diarahkan utk berada di BERNAMA jam 6 pagi… tp aku dan rakan2 yg budget super-cool ni terpaksa bgn seawal 4.30 pagi dan berkumpul di petrol station berhampiran… sbb apa? Sbb baru hegeh2 nak tampal sticker penaja dan minyak keta pun tak isi lg… padan muka! huhu. ~oh, some of us really enjoy the sense of urgency… can’t you see their happy face? ;b

Inilah geng2 hunters yg x sedar diri berangan nak merampas kejuaraan dr old-timers yg dah berbelas tahun join treasure hunt pun masih struggle nak dpt top 3. Hehe. Come on… dreaming is free, rite?

Kenalkan dr kiri… Shukri (tulip reader), Ejay (co-driver & car owner) dan Rustam (errr… passenger?)

Oh ye, terlupa plak nak kenalkan our pilot merangkap team leader. This is Danial, seorg jejaka yg tinggi lampai tp rendah akhlak. Hahhaa. Kalo ada yg berminat nak kenal Danial… sila mintak izin kat tunang dia dulu. Yep, Danial akan mendirikan rumahtangga next year… (a giant slap on my face!) and he’s younger than me… (that’s another slap on my face… thank you!)

See the red car… yg bernombor 031? Bermata seksi, wearing a skirt, bontot tembam… HOT kan? Owh, ramai yg dengki dgn dia ye… (dulu keta aku pernah kena calar balar oleh someone yg aku kenal. Tp takde la aku smpai nak report polis… sbb aku percaya, karma will get him eventually! Ok, layan emo kejap… where are we just now?)

Soalan kali ni susah mcm siamang! Dah la byk set nak dijawab. Dah rujuk dictionary, siap google cari jawapan lg… (thanks Najmie! Hehe) tp tetap lah pecah otak nak crack the riddle. We spent so much times to get the most satisfying answer (betul atau tidak belakang kira)… dan sbb kami semua ultra-cool and take our own sweet time nak jwb, so inilah jadinya…

…we’re running out of time!! Hahaha. Padan muka ko! Gelabah tak hengat. Ada beberapa soalan blom abis dijawab, setiap soalan 2 markah kalo betul. Setiap 5 minit terlebih masa, 1 markah akan dipotong. So how? Kami kena buat strategic planning & critical decision.

So, Danial telah memutuskan utk memecut laju dan melanggar peraturan lalulintas dgn penuh bergaya. Shuk dan Rustam cuba menjawab saki baki soalan secara pantas dan membabi buta tanpa turun dr kereta (hebat bukan? heh). Manakala aku pula tak henti2 memanjatkan doa pd Ilahi semoga kami semua selamat smpai ke destinasi in one piece!!! ~xOxOx

Akhirnya kami selamat smpai ke garisan penamat di Mercure Palm Resort, Senai wlwpun terlewat lebih 40 minit ye. Confirm kena penalty… at least 8 markah kena tolak. Ada yg tak bley terima hakikat dan meroyan di situ. Ada yg buat muka tak bersalah. Aku pulak… buat muka paling sarcastic sambil berkata~ “wannabe juara? dream on…!”

Dinner time @ Mercure Palm Resort… kami cuba meredakan emosi dgn mkn. Let’s face it… makan itu sedap dan kesedapan akan meredakan ketegangan. Ko tgk je la Rustam tu minum air mineral pun bley ting tong. Hehe. ~cheers!

Lepas makan, kami jalan2 cari nahas. As a Johorian… aku jd host utk sessi tour de’ JB. Antara tempat yg wajib dikunjungi… Danga Bay. Oh ye, I met my blog reader there… Mr. Zamry. Hehehe… thanks for your time dude!

And the next morning, semua peserta berkumpul utk acara kemuncak. Sessi pembongkaran jawapan utk riddles yg mcm siamang itu dan teknik2 utk decrypt the code. Rasanya group aku la yg paling bersungguh nak check jawapan… just nak tau tahap kebijaksanaan kitorg je.. (bijak equal to handsome). Gagaga.

Guess what… byk jwpan yg betul… (ensem gak kitorg, hehe). Tp lebih byk lg jawapan yg tak betul… ngehahah!! (nobody perfect katanya…).

So, korg percaya tak kalo kitorg dpt 2nd place dan dpt RM2,000? Huhuhu…Mesti la tak kan? ~ngehaha

Ok la… kitorg dpt tempat ke-17 je this time. Mmg susah nak dpt 1st place, but hey, at least we’re not the last one! ~optimist. Sometimes, it’s not all about winning the game. Kami berempat jarang ada masa utk berkumpul bersama… and now we have chance to meet again and have our joyful moment together. Could it be something else more precious than that? Winning a prize…? Think again!


Love & Regards,

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gift

27 November 2009 at 12:01 AM | Written by Ejay


This may not be a perfect gift.

But today is your birthday... and I just want to see you smile

Because your smile can make me happy, somehow... :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SYAH...!


p.s : cuba teka apa hadiah tu? sape jwb betul, saya akan bg hadiah masa b'day anda nnti. ha-ha. happy guessing! oh ye, SALAM AIDILADHA to all Muslim readers.



Love & Regards,
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farewell

26 November 2009 at 6:25 PM | Written by Ejay


Well, it had to happen one day... and my time here is coming to an end.

I never find it easy to say goodbye. I wonder... where's the good in goodbye?

People become a part of your life and are no longer acquaintances but friends... and everyone has been an inspiration, in good times and bad.

Today I have a feeling that the longer you work in a place, the more peoples you are going to miss. Seriously, I'm gonna miss you all... but I still need to move on.


So now the chapter of my life is about to end, and a new one is about to begin.

I have a new challenge. I'm facing it with mixture of emotions; some anticipation, some excitement and naturally, some apprehension.

I don't know yet how it will turn out, but I do know this ~ if my new colleagues are even half as good to work with as you are, I'll enjoy my new work very well.

Thank you for 4 years of the best of everything... I will miss you all, and I wish you every success.

~ this is Ejay signing-off ~



Love & Regards,
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riposte

23 November 2009 at 12:23 PM | Written by Ejay


OK, so I read all comments on the previous entry… (thank you so much)

Some said that I’m focusing too much on my future and forget to live my current life.

But some said that it’s normal for people at my age to have that kind of thought… sbb bila usia semakin matang, we start to think differently.

Ada juga yg kata it’s a quarter life crisis… dan lebih kejam lg ada yg kata itu tanda2 krisis pertengahan umur... ~hahaha. (woit, aku blom cecah 50 lg la..)



I must say it is not really about the age, it's about the perspective. I believe that if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. It’s not a secret. I guess, people my age watch too much teen flick when they were younger. The idea that we need to create drama for us to have an interesting life is very twisted. I think we are just in the stage where we want to talk about our lives and hoped that people will do too. I mean, being a topic of everyone's conversation (including ourselves) makes us feel significant and alive.

Life is all about the choices we make. We define who we are on how we live our lives. I guess the best remedy for this crisis is to stick with positivity. It is not about being strong but its about being flexible. We need to just play along, do not break but bend. Let's not waste our energy worrying. Live a life filled with optimism and everything will come to its proper place.

p.s : thank you again for your inspiring thought & advice… (oh, what would I do without you guys…) ;b
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sleeplessness

19 November 2009 at 11:36 PM | Written by Ejay


I slept early last night. I want to rest and enjoy my bed again.

I guess part of the reason why I slept early is my desire to silent the voices in my head. I can't help it. My mind goes crazy over some random thoughts. I want control but I know it’s beyond me.

I woke up around 3am, it was raining hard. I got up, I checked my blog (sempat lg tuh…) and then walk to the kitchen to drink a glass of water. Went back to bed but I can't sleep. I felt bad.


I tried to figure out about life in my late 20's... in my best of times & worse of times.
I start to question about who I am and what I want.
  • I stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about myself that I didn't know and may not like.
  • I start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that I thought were so close to me aren't exactly the greatest people I have ever met, and the people I have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.
  • I look at my job... and it is not even close to what I thought I would be doing, then I got another job offer and realizing that I’m going to have to start at the bottom and that scares me.
  • My opinions has gotten stronger. I see what others are doing and find myself judging more than usual because suddenly I realize that I have certain boundaries in my life and are constantly adding things to my list of what is acceptable and what isn't.
  • One minute, I’m insecure and then the next, secure. I laugh and cry with the greatest force of my life.
  • I wonder why I can't meet anyone decent enough that I want to get to know better.
  • Instant date with someone stranger that I met via internet start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
  • I go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with my friends about the same topics because I cannot seem to make a decision.
  • I worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for myself... and while winning the race would be great, right now I’d just like to be a contender!
I feel like nothing is terribly wrong, but nothing is right either. I don't know... maybe I over analyzed myself. But maybe at one point in your life, you'll face the same issue. Maybe everyone reading this can relates to it.

Or maybe it just me... and my iRReVeRSiBLe life.

p.s : looking back, I realized that we can only go FORWARD.


Love & Regards,
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hibernate

17 November 2009 at 9:46 PM | Written by Ejay


I've been feeling crappy for days now. Dah beberapa hari ni asyik hujan sebelah ptg smpai la ke mlm. Bila cuaca dingin camni aku akan totally hibernate. I'm not being 100% me lately.

My room is cluttered tapi malas gile nak kemas. My face is a big mess sbb since last Saturday aku takde masa nak shave my beard (yes, my testosterone sgt subur). Mlm susah nak tido, pagi bangun lewat and everyday is a bad hair day. Those are the signs that there is something wrong with me. I know the signs, all I need to do is to act.

I was thinking nak shave licin je muka aku mlm ni so I will look more fresh tomorrow. But on a second thought, aku rasa malas pulak. Yes, if you feel good, you look good... but it doesn’t always work the other way around.


p.s : telling people how you feel is the first step to feeling better...



Love & Regards,
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homesick

15 November 2009 at 7:08 PM | Written by Ejay



As a child, we want to be old. When we are old, we want to be a child. Enjoy the feelings of need and desire along the way. And always want. It is by wanting that we become.



p.s : I feel homesick now... rindu kat mak aku, akak & abg aku, anak-anak saudara aku yg comel dan manja. Aku nak balik kampung... I really want to, tp belum ada kesempatan waktu. I just want you to know how much I miss you... :(


Love & Regards,
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10-11-2009

11 November 2009 at 12:20 AM | Written by Ejay



Lately kat KL selalu hujan waktu malam. Best giler tido!
~woarrgghhh… *menggeliat dgn penuh sexy*

I love to sleep.

Walaupun malam semakin dingin, I feel so relaxed on my bed. Bedroom aku berwarna biru. It is sky blue, with white stripes. To give character to the room, aku menggunakan perabot berwarna putih and my bed sheet is dark blue, pure cotton. Ahhhh...a piece of heaven in my room.

I would like to take time and show how much I appreciate my bed. She was there listening every time I read out loud from my journal. She saw my most vulnerable moments. She knows my fears (yes, I can see ghost), and my dreams. She witnessed the real me. She let me lay on her for comfort. She is my happy place.


p.s : Selamat Ulang Bulan ke-22


Love & Regards,
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i love me

08 November 2009 at 1:43 AM | Written by Ejay




Love is the strongest word there is. I don't know why other people can't say that they love who they are. Maybe they don't want to be misunderstood. I guess some would think that if you say that, you're automatically egocentric. I think it's not what you say but how you express it.

Love should start with ones self. You can never give what you don't have. I believe love should bring the best out of everything. Often times we feel something so strong and we don't know what to call it. So, we identify it as love but it is not love at all.




A friend of mine once told me (I was broken hearted at that time), "Why don't you date yourself first?". He reasoned that we spend so much in impressing our date. We give gifts and pamper them just to get the affection we are expecting. He asked, why not do that to our selves? He was so right. When people see that you take care of yourself and you love who you are, then they get attracted to you. I test that theory, it was true. We look for confident, self assured and healthy individuals, same exact qualities that a person who loves himself has. It is when we stop double guessing our self, then we can start loving who we really are.


Love & Regards,
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irreplaceable

06 November 2009 at 12:35 AM | Written by Ejay


Aku dah submit Resignation Letter to my boss last Tuesday. He don't want to accept/acknowledge the letter and asked me to go back and think again. He convinced me to stay and consider for counter offer. Sape yg tak rasa teruja kalo...

- your boss want to retain you because you're valuable to the company
- your boss offer to increase your salary and your position ranking, where you actually have to wait another 4-5 years to achieve that if not because of the counter offer.
- you can still enjoy the (big) bonus, which effectively you have to let go kalo resign
- you don't have to resign & go through all the hassle... the process & procedure, you know..
- you don't have to say goodbye to your dear friends
- you have nothing to lose but all to gain!

Susah nak buat keputusan bila ada great option mcm ni. But then again, I don't always have to pick what seem to be the best. Sometimes, the best or the perfect is not the right thing. It calls for something beyond expectation.

I really need times to think through. I'll get back to you with the final answer ye Boss.. next week!

Btw, I found this masa Google utk mencari ilham... and I would love to share with you. Itu pun kalo korg ada masa nak baca la. But it's worth reading... seriously.


A woman came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find her 5-year old son waiting for her at the door.

SON: "Mummy, may I ask you a question?"

MUM: "Yeah sure, what it is?" replied the woman.

SON: "Mummy, how much do you make an hour?"

MUM: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?" the woman said angrily.

SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"

MUM: "If you must know, I make RM 50 an hour."

SON: "Oh" the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: "Mummy, may I please borrow RM 25?"

The mother was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The woman sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the woman had calmed down, and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that RM 25 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The woman went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

"Are you asleep, son?" She asked.

"No Mummy, I'm awake," replied the boy.

"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier" said the woman. "It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the RM 25 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "Oh, thank you Mummy!" he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The woman saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his mother.

"Why do you want more money if you already have some?" the mother grumbled.

"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied.

"Mummy, I have RM 50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you."

The mother was crushed. She put his arms around her little son, and she begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that RM 50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.


p.s : come to think of it, am I irreplaceable? ngehaha..
to the left, to the left. ~lalalalaaa
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it's my destiny

02 November 2009 at 8:13 PM | Written by Ejay





The agony of choosing….


You’ll either make the choice of yourself or the universe will make it for you.
So there’s really nothing to worry about.


For few weeks I’ve been postponing my resignation. I’m guilty for some reasons… but I finally decided to quit. Semua urusan pre-employment... Letter of Offer, medical check-up, screening form, semuanya dah settle. The only thing that I haven’t done yet is to write the Resignation Letter a.k.a Love Letter to my boss.

It takes guts to quit and even more guts to say goodbye...



oh by the way, I prefer chicken nugget! nyum nyum...






Love & Regards,
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